I dance. I dance salsa, bachata and blues.
For more than the normal reason. The normal reason as well, of course. It’s fun, it’s social and gives me a lot of energy.
For me, there’s another reason as well.
To explain I have to give you some history of mine. First to tell you that the country I grew up in really focus on equality on gender. Some of it works, some doesn’t. For example women still don’t get the same salary as men for the same job and don’t have the same positions, etc. To be seen as a guitarist as a woman is a fight and you really have to prove yourself. Second, this thing about relationships. My experience has maybe not been the best. What has been frequent in the relationships I’ve had is that I had to be responsible for everything to get done, exaggerating of course, but more or less. The times I’ve needed to relax and really needed to just collect energy, I barely had the opportunity. I’m very energetic, but sometimes I need to recharge. Example, I have never expected to have dinner served, but when you come home from work it’s nice if somebody that’s been off all day maybe thought about you, that you might be hungry. One day or two it’s alright if this would happen, but if it’s more a rule than exception, you learn that no matter of your condition you have to make your food, clean your house, make things happen, it’s all up to you, even though a partnership is about being two. Just so you know, I’m not that easy to take care of, so I don’t only blame the guys I’ve been with. I’m a part of it too… To be exact, I’m 50% of it. I didn’t let myself be taken care of, ’cause I’m just really sure of how to be taken care of.
What I’ve noticed with this focus of getting what I want and always have to prove myself, is that I lost my femininity, on the way. Just so I wouldn’t be treated as a “pretty little girl”, which seriously piss me off. I’ve been yearning for letting go of control, to be able to, if only just for a second, to lean on someone else. To be able to be dressed up and beautiful, without being treated as just a trophy that knows nothing. To be able to be proud of the way I look, the way I walk, the way I move, how I think, the one I am. I’ve even dressed down when I’ve been going out, just to be able to talk to people as a human being. But with this part of always having to be on top and produce, can be exhausting. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love all of it extremely much!! That’s why I do it and I will always continue to do it. I’m going for the stars and beyond!!!
Here’s where the dance come in.
I get a lot of compliments ’cause I’m a good follower. I see this as my chance to let go of control, to trust the man that he knows where to lead me, to listen to his judgement and knows he wants the best for me in the dance. To be close, but still have respect. Within salsa and bachata you do a lot of lady styling. I don’t have time for shyness so I just go for it, even though I can be better, but I’ll get there. This has brought back my courage to be all the woman I am. To be proud of my turns, my movements and to trust they guy that when he dip me, he will hold me. I will fall in his arms with trust. This is my second to lean, to fall and I take it.
Now, there’s a difference between Salsa/Bachata and Blues. More than the obvious fact that it’s different dances and different music. Salsa/Bachata is more adrenalin and passion. Blues, is different. My opinion is that when you dance blues you have to be extremely attentive and present. The guy can choose himself if he wants to follow the rhythm, the vocalist, the guitar etc. He can choose whatever, whenever. If I think about anything else, what has happened, what will happen, shoelaces, meatballs, whatever, I won’t be able to follow. So in blues, I just have to lean towards the guy, be close and let him lead me into presence. I say that when you dance Salsa/Bachata you dance with a partner, when you dance blues, you dance with a soul.
I need all of the dances to keep the balance in my life, to be excited, passionate, attentive and present.
Every song/dance is about four minutes. Four minutes of letting go of control, be present and enjoy every piece of the dance, atmosphere, my body, your body, our creation, our communication. Four minutes it’s all it takes, more would be too much, less would be too little. Every night I go home after a night dancing I’m filled up with more power and strength to do what I aim to do. I need to be all the woman I am in all aspects of life. I need to dance to write music, feel music, feel my heart, see my goal.
Thank you all women that shows and inspires me how to dance. Thank you to all men that makes the effort of learning how to dance.
All dancing men and women, know that all the femininity and proudness that you see and is in my body now, is a lot because of you.
The reason I dance is to embrace the woman in me. She’s awesome.