To direct your energy

I used to feel sick when I had a gig. I felt chilly, kind of like I had a fever and worried in my stomach.
At those times I actually never was sick. It was just my body telling me it’s supposed to run far, far away instead of going up on stage in front of people and sharing what I loved. ‘Cause it can be really scary. Although I really, really felt like crawling into bed and put a blanket over my head I never did. I have never cancelled a show. What I did was that instead of taking it easy, sitting down and preventing the adrenalin to pulse, I used the adrenalin kick. I started to stand up and walk around. Back and forward, I moved my feet, getting a rhythm before my shows so I didn’t have too much adrenalin pumping in my veins. Too much adrenalin is hard to handle, hard to play guitar and be present. So instead of working against it, I worked with it. It helped.

I still feel it a lot, but instead of felling sick I feel like I have butterflies in my stomach and  every time I approach a performance, I now feel like I’m falling in love. I embrace the feeling of being in a moment where it’s just that moment that counts. A real now-or-never-moment. I prepare as much as I can, but I’ve learned to be in the present when I perform. I now enjoy of being in the moment when I do my best, but I’m alright to make mistakes(which actually turning out so I don’t make mistakes). Now I finally play and perform music.

‘Cause in the end, how can you be worried when you’re at home?
Exactly where you need to be…