It’s almost time to say goodbye to China. One more night and then I’m off.
Before I left Sweden, a friend told me that I would get perspective of life. I have. My idea to go here was to experience a lot of new things. For example eastern way of thinking, find some old people and meditate, learn how to surf since I was going to live in a city by the sea and much more. I had read that China has had a working civilization for more than 8000 years. We’re not even close to that, so I figured I would learn so much.
But I’m not impressed. At all.
My first time I was swimming in the ocean in my life, I was two weeks old. I’ve always wanted to become a mermaid. I love water. In Qingdao, where they brag about the clean air, but I didn’t feel it. The water is so dirty I didn’t want to go swimming. Even though it was 36° C outside I prefer to not go swimming. If you don’t want to be in the water, you can’t go surfing. The streets are extremely dirty and the people, in general, are not so fresh. I’m not a tidy person and I’ve been traveling a lot, but this is the only time I’ve reacted where it’s just so dirty it’s actually a little hard to cope with.
I had Chinese colleagues at my work that didn’t get payed. All the swedes did, kind of get their money. Not all that they were promised.
Here’s a little perspective for you. I read in the Swedish paper that they were talking about an empty car standing on the railway that was hit by a car. At once it was written in the media. As well there’s a discussion about how to put the bikes at the trainstation. 2011 there was a high speed train accident in China. They buried the whole train to hide it. No train, no evidence, if it doesn’t show, it doesn’t exist, right? People was falling out of the trainwreck, meanwhile the were digging the hole. Somebody filmed it at therefor it got out to the world and media.
Still I’m very grateful for experience all of this. What I’ve developed here is acceptance. I had a pretty good tolerance when it comes to acceptance before, but here it’s the only way to survive. I could even say I might have developed some patience, but I doubt it. Patience is really a struggle for me. why procrastinate when you can do things at once? To accept that people have different circumstances nad be ok with me to have no right to say that anything here is wrong or to tell somebody to change. It’s not my life, it’s not my choice or fight. My perspective is right for me, doesn’t mean it’s right for someone else. If there’s someone that wants my help and if there’s anything I can do, I’ll gladly do it. It’s a lot of people living here and they are accepting this condition. Maybe because they don’t know any differently, since internet and media is so limited. Maybe because it’s too regulated so it’s the only way to survive. Maybe because there’s no choice than to accept. It is a very corrupt country and they prioritize in a way I find weird. What I understand is that they rather have a good looking surface out than actually care about people.
I’m currently in Beijing and I have seen and experienced nice things here. The hutongs are beautiful, the Great Wall was very impressive and the Forbidden City was amazing and a little scary. In the forbidden city there was just information about the size of each building, material and translation of the names. Everything included with peace and harmony, but for me, coming from an overinformative country, I missed the history. What actually happened. ‘Cause of course there had to be executions and disputes when people tried to take over or just mishandled their job. The working people were probably living somewhere. In the garden were probably a lot of religion and thinking going on. There were 24 emperors living there and there were almost no information what had actually been going on. Maybe they just lived happily without any problems what so ever, but I just don’t think so. Happily for me, google was waiting for me when I got home so I could update myself more about Qing and Ming dynasty and the others.
China has been great and I’ve met people with open and caring hearts, which I’m so grateful for. It just hurts when you’re walking around and just feel the lack of hope and happiness. Maybe it’s just me, maybe I was just expecting something different. A peace and calm, despite rough conditions. There are more happy people in Beijing and Shanghai than in Qingdao, that’s for sure. But still the joy is missing. Outside the nice hostel I’m living at is some old men and women playing cards and they’re laughing. It’s like massage to my heart.
Conclusion of China, I’m very happy I came here and I’ve learned a lot, just as I wanted to. I’ve experienced fantastic nature, people and moments. I just find this country very weird. It’s just so many things I don’t get, body language, way of thinking etc. Although everything I’m writing here, I’d still advice you to go here. Maybe not for a longer time, but two weeks is alright.
I’ve changed perspective of life and I’m so happy that I have people around me here and at home that I love and that loves me. Things can be hard and tough, but as long as people help you out, things are so much easier.
Every end has a new beginning and I’ll head for new adventures in soon and is very excited about it.